I don't need no stinking badges... but I do need a passport.

If you're getting a passport for the first time pay close attention to the rules.

1) Get the form - http://travel.state.gov/passport/forms/ds11/ds11_842.html
2) Get proof of your citizenship - If you're a native US citizen a certified birth certificate does the trick.  Make sure you understand what certified means.  Here is the definition they use:

A certified birth certificate has a registrar's raised, embossed, impressed or multicolored seal, registrars signature, and the date the certificate was filed with the registrar's office, which must be within 1 year of your birth.

Mine was easy as I just went by my county's courthouse and got a copy for 10 bucks.

3) Have an acceptable ID when you apply - Here are the primary types they accept

• Previously issued, undamaged U.S. passport 
• Naturalization Certificate
• Valid Driver's License
• Current Government ID (city, state or federal)
• Current Military ID (military and dependents

4) If you don't have one of the primary types of IDs you can present multiple secondary pieces together.  Here is the example from the website - Social Security Card + Credit Card + Employee ID + Library Card

5) Make sure they photocopy your ID to send in with the form.

6) You'll need two photos of yourself.  Unless you're VERY familar with the requirements save yourself the trouble and just have them made when you apply.

7) Schedule an appointment and bring the completed form and all documents.  Make sure you are aware of the fees as you'll need to pay when you apply.  Here's a link to prices - http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/fees/fees_837.html

Note:  Allow 4 - 6 weeks for the passport to be delivered to you unless you pay extra.  Then you can get it within 3 weeks.